STRESS!

You may or may not know it, but my life isn't characterized by an overabundance of good luck.  In the big areas like friends and good health, I am pretty lucky, but in the day to day business of my life things go to hell on a regular basis.  Like this month.  This whole month is really sucking a lot of eggs.

Now, recovering from an ED is difficult enough under ideal circumstances.  When things start going downhill it gets really complicated.  And since people who develop ED's tend to be sensitive and prone to overthinking things, even the smallest of disturbances can have a big impact.

So let's say that you've been on what you feel is a good track: Steadily maintaining your recovery, maybe just starting to learn your own needs, or taking regular steps towards healthiness.  Whatever it is, you feel like you've got life set up in a way that allows you to grab this problem and work with it.  Then all hell breaks loose.  Your support system breaks down, or your havens become unsafe or your calm is disturbed or maybe your bed is full of bedbugs and it is really pushing your triggers.  What are you going to do?

Congratulations! You have found yourself in a Shitty Learning Experience.  Feel free to hate them, because they truly are shitty.  But learn from them.  They have a lot to tell you.  They tell you where your breaking points are, and your strengths.  They teach you to invent new coping strategies, often on the fly.  They show you what you can do without and push you to choose the things you will not do without, come hell or high water.

But most importantly, you learn that you can survive anything.  Anything.  When things go tits up, the common mantra is 'I can't handle this."  "Oh, work is so stressful I just can't handle it."  "This guy is crazy and I just can't take it."  "I am so alone and it is going to kill me."  Not true.  You can and will get through all of it.  Gracefully?  Maybe not.  Easily?  Nope, it's stressful -maybe even heartbreaking- for a reason.  But you're   going to make it through.  You are going to be OK, in time.


Realize that, and it changes your focus.  You stop wondering how you're going to make it through and you start seeing what you can do now to make it through easier and faster.  You can stop dreading that you'll be crushed and start finding your power.  It's there for you, even in the Shitty Learning times.  Maybe especially then, because that's when you need it.