Vocabulary

There are some things that I think are so very important that I talk and think about them a lot.  I might not take into account that people around me have not been there when I was learning about all these things, coming to these conclusions or making this stuff up.  So here are the terms I'll probably be mentioning a lot and a bit of a description about what I mean when I say them.


Eating Disorders-  The dictionary definition of eating disorders is "a group of conditions characterized by abnormal eating habits that may involve too much or too little food intake to the detriment of an individual's physical and mental health" and to a point I agree with this.  But it's important to stress that while eating disorders are mentally damaging, they also arise from mental damage.  It's not like an ED fell out of the sky, landed on you and then your thought processes started going awry.  The best way I ever heard it put was that ED's happen when a person who is smart and sensitive (and who might have a genetic predisposition towards them) is presented with a situation for which they just do not have the means to cope.  This individual retreats into a food obsession in order to escape the pain they can't deal with.

Disordered Eating- Similar, but not quite the same as an eating disorder.  The official definition for disordered eating covers a wide range of situations. When I use the term, though, I mean any eating pattern that is not fulfilling and healthful for the mind and body.  This includes but is not limited to dieting, fasting, eating due to social pressure, eating food you do not want or enjoy, etc.  I think our culture has no proper idea what to do with food, and it seems to me nearly everyone's eating is more disordered than it should be.  Disordered eating can be a good recovery tool, in a way: If you're suddenly noticing new or stronger disordered eating behavior, then you know it's time to do some introspection and figure out what's wrong.

Introspection- This is your best tool for recovery and sustained mental health.  The word literally means "looking within."  Introspection done properly is done the way a naturalist might observe a new species of animal; with careful attention to the significance of every small detail and with no value judgment.  No value judgment.  One more time: NO VALUE JUDGMENT.  There is no good or bad, only what you observe.

Self Talk- Self talk is expressed through your inner monologue and is the sum total of the things you say to yourself all day, every day.  Positive self talk is uplifting, supportive, loving, flexible and kind.  Negative self talk is abusive, demanding, inflexible, and usually reflects a lot of the negative crap other people have caused you to believe about yourself.  I don't think it is possible for a person's self talk to be too positive.  Ideally, you are your own best cheerleader and champion.

Self Love- Take positive self talk and back it up with action and you have self love.  Self love is caring about your needs and providing for them.  It is working with yourself, not against yourself.  It accepts all of you, even your "flaws."  Self love happens right now, not five pounds from now. 

Self Abuse- Self abuse is every bit as detrimental as abuse at the hands of another person.  Perhaps more so, since ideally you are your own best ally.  Self abuse includes negative self talk, self injurious behavior, failing to provide yourself with the things you need, setting unrealistic standards for yourself, etc.  If you saw someone doing something or saying something to a little child in their care, and you think "Hey now! That's just cruel!" then doing the same thing to yourself is self abuse.

Inner Child- You should treat yourself the way you would treat a child you love and cherish because we none of us ever really grow up.  If you didn't feel safe as a child, inside you now is a child who desperately needs reassurance.  If you felt ignored, your inner child is crying to be seen.  Almost nobody had a perfect childhood.  After all, our parents are people too and dealing with their own imperfections and hurts.  Most of them do the best they can, but we all grew up with hurts and unmet needs.  Well YOU are the adult in your life now, and you can give to yourself the things your parents couldn't.

Inner Caretaker- The inner caretaker's job is to seek out your needs and respond to them.  The inner caretaker is the voice that wants to support and protect you.  It is the voice that will point you to nurturing and life affirming things.  It grows stronger with self love and is too often drowned out with self abuse.  It sounds tiring, doesn't it, addressing all of your needs and hurts?  But that's because most of us have a backlog of needs right now.  When you give your caretaker a chance to address all the past hurts, and get the present set up to meet all your current needs, then you're all ready to address whatever the future throws at you.

And on the subject of the future and what it holds, no "coming up next time" today.  Tell me in the comments if there's a topic you'd like me to sound off on in the next post.  If not, I'll see what's on my mind over the next few days and develop that.  'Til next time!